Worst 8 week period of my life...but its over!

Really had the worst 8 week period of my life...I talked about this a bit in my last blog post.

But, to get more specific:

In an effort to de-clutter my life, be more organized, and generally straighten things in my apartment I was mounting my 55" tv on the wall.  Somehow, when i put it on a flat surface so as not to break it, I managed to leave a cable duplexer jack (you know, you put cable in one end and 2 cables out other end) on the flat surface.  The surface was no longer flat.  The TV went crunch...fuck.  $1200 spent on another TV, and an SUV rental to get it home because I own a Mustang.

Part of this cleanup/de-clutter effort was to have the place set up and all nice for the love of my life visiting.  Instead, she decided that it was in her best interest to not be with me or anyone at the moment.  Her wishes are her wishes...and NO ONE will ever tell her that she made a mistake.
I will.  She did.  Her loss.  Big time.  No doubt.

With that, I rededicated myself to running in an effort to manage the pain and get motivated and drive my anger, upset, disappointment, and self loathing all into one activity.  More on that in a bit.

Anyway, being that I am emotional wreck at that point, I needed to not be home.  Went back on the road, and then went to Vegas for a weekend to see an old friend from HS that I haven't seen SINCE high school.  We had a great time - we laughed, we drank, we ate...and God DAMN she is a big heaping scoop of SEXY! (Sorry to embarrass you, Sylvia...but yeah...you are).

However, my idea of blowing off steam is to gamble.  And I did.  Quickly lost 4 figures...sucked!!!!!  More depression.

Then the next week, as I was about to leave for Florida to get away again...I flooded my apartment.  And the 2 below me.  And I am on the hook for that.  I'm just thankful for insurance!!!

And as I was dealing with ALLLLL of that, I was on the road to start roadshows, and I developed Kidney Stones.  In addition, a simultaneous, massive bout of constipation compounded ALL.

That. Sucked.  Hardcore.

I know, some of this is definitively TMI, but hey, w are all human...this could happen to anyone.

What I learned from all this is that A)  I need to be better hydrated, B)  in a relationship, happiness lasts only as long as it is mutual.  That disintegrated in no time at all, and I still have questions....but hey... C)  Most important, I have some really, really good friends around me that want me to be happy and do well, but also are respectful of my wishes when I ask that they don't speak ill of others.  It's classless.  Plus, you never know what the future holds...though I am no longer considering her as a possibility.  How could I?  If someone told me that she and I would reconvene on X day...yeah, I'd wait.  For sure.  But that doesn't happen, and I don't want to wait.  I want to move on and be happy again.  I deserve that.  For once, I thought I was doing the right thing (for the most part) in a relationship...but sometimes that isn't enough.  It really sucks, but ya have to get past it.  I was driving myself bananas - over analyzing EVERYTHING.  Meanwhile, things are pretty much black and white.  They are what they are.  We move on.

So that comes back to the running thing.  I have been running pretty regularly this year in an effort to lose weight.  Largely, I have been successful.  I have lost over 40 lbs to date, and my longest run is up to 7 miles.

I signed up for a Half Marathon because I am complete idiot and hypocrite.  I SWORE I would never do anything like this.  Mainly because I hate running - I LIKE THE WAY I FEEL WHEN I AM DONE but running itself can suck a seal boner.

At least it is a Star Wars themed one in Disney.  So that will make things a bit interesting.

The thing about running, though, is that it gives me what I feel is a tangible benchmark of success.  If I run 7 miles, that can be measured.  Lifting weights is similar but less of an endurance test, and I guess harder to measure physically.  When I go running I weigh myself before AND after a run to see how much energy and water I burned off,  Routinely, a 5k will get me 4lbs cut off.  When I run longer - say 6.55 miles - I lost 6+ lbs AND I was hydrating along the way...so your body burns during runs!

That means I have a LOT of water to drink by the time I am done!  (you are supposed to re hydrate what you lost when you finish)  But mostly, I chose this half marathon because I wanted to do something big.  Something not insurmountable, but certainly a big, big challenge.  I chose it to show that I am better than some people may think.  I chose it because I am better than I show.  I still have some growing to do - AS WE ALL DO - and I intend to drive that message home anytime I can.

Ok, the ambien is really kicking in...I gotta go to bed....more to come...