Here it is...the most recent of my blog posts...
I hope that you enjoy it. It's full of excitement and wonder - much like you had as a child the first time you went swimming and almost drowned, or when you tried drinking bleach...
Remember that?
Or maybe more like when you rode the hobby horse and got a funny feeling in your pants...for better or worse.
Remember that?
Maybe it's like the first time you poured salt on an open festering wound just for kicks on a Saturday night...
Remember that?
I know! It just like the time that you poured sugar in the gas tank of a rival whilst anally raping a voodoo doll in their likeness - and then burned it in effigy.
Ahhh, memories...
The best part about this blog post, though, is that it's now over...thank you... :-)
Peace and Love...
- Mike
Friday, September 10, 2010
Thursday, July 8, 2010
18 hours I never want to experience...ever again...
I'm broken.
I'm absolutely broken.
I'm a dog lover (actually a lover of most all animals) and believe firmly that dogs rank above most people in my personal chain of 'things I care about'. I love my dogs so much - I don't have kids...I have dogs.
***By the way, when I say "I have dogs", I mean "We". The dogs belong to everyone in my family, and we fight over who gets the dogs to sleep with at night. :-) ***
They mean the world to me, and they are spoiled endlessly. And even then, I feel bad that I don't play with them more, or give them more attention. I guess all parents feel that way from time to time...
I'm on the road in Rochester right now, and as I always do when I am away, I called home last night to say hi and check in on the puppies...
This time, my sister answered - not a shock, since she moved back home this past weekend, but not something I really expected either. I could tell there was something wrong when I asked where Mom was.
"Uh...um...She's with...um...she's out. She's out."
"Ok, how are the doggies?"
"The dogs are ok..." her voice trailed off.
Then she started crying a lot and said "No, everything is not ok with the dogs..."
She tells the the story:
She came home from work and saw Lola with her head bobbing back and forth, not able to move, panting and panicking. Christina picked her up and Lola was completely limp on the lower half of her body - her back legs didn't move, she didn't claw, she couldn't stand let alone walk...
Christina called my mother, and she came home as soon as she could.
They took her to Dr. Greco, our vet, and he took x-rays and did a pain test.
Pain test - negative...she felt nothing.
X-rays showed separation between L-3 and L-4 in her vertebrae.
The Dr. recommended she see a surgeon about this, but that this wasn't too promising. Lola and my mother were at the surgical hospital in Bohemia when I finally got in touch with her.
From what I was hearing, this didn't seem too good at all. My stomach sank and I felt sick. I still do.
She didn't know what she wanted to do - surgery, no surgery, euthanization...it's a tough thing to play God in those situations. Those of you with animals, I don't have to tell you twice - you know this.
If my vote counted at all, I said that unless there was a great chance of success, she should be put to sleep. What I never want is for her or any of our animals to suffer or not be able to lead a happy life. This situation didn't seem to set the table for a positive outcome.
However, the people at the hospital said she had patella reflexes and that she DID feel deep pain - not sure what that meant, but ok...especially since Dr. Greco got nothing. So the decision was made keep Lola overnight, and to inject her with a massive shot of steroids to possibly ebb any swelling and inflammation that may have been clamping down on Lola's spinal cord.
I don't think anyone slept well last night.
"I tried all night not to break down and cry
As the tears rolled down my face
I felt so cold and empty
Like a lost soul out of place"
- Poison, 1990 "Something to Believe In"
I woke up (?) this morning not feeling any better than the night before. I knew that the next phone call I get would be from my mother and it wouldn't be good.
I hate being right sometimes.
The board certified neurologist had looked at the x-rays and examined Lola, and the prognosis was grim. "Maybe", "possibly", and other words were used, but he didn't even recommend doing any other tests to be sure, because he knew that she would never be right. Or even close to it.
My mother opted not to do any surgery, though she told me later that "if there was even a glimmer of hope, I would have latched on to it"... but there was nothing to hold on to.
She left work to go be with Lola. She spent about an hour with her before the needle came. She was petting her and calming her down, keeping her sane. Mom teased Lola a little, asking if she wanted a cookie...Lola perked up a little with that statement. She made sure she gave Lola a kiss for me and told Lola that I loved her very much.
I can't tell you how much it hurt not to do that myself. I'm dieing inside over that. Even typing it now, I feel like someone is hitting me in the stomach with a baseball bat. It's so hard not to be able to say goodbye and to be there for my mother as well. My mother has done this way too often, and it never gets easier.
Then, they administered the needle, and shortly after she was at rest.
I knew it was just a matter of time that I got the call saying it was all over. Hours were like days. That waiting and waiting is absolute torture. You want to scream but can't because you know it won't do any good. On top of that, I was at work, and had to keep it together as much as I could. That didn't work so well...but I survived the day somehow.
I got the call, and what I hoped would happen didn't. In the past, there would be almost a rush of relief because a dog was in pain, or even if it were a sick relative who had passed, and you were almost happy that they were not in pain anymore. I didn't have that this time... This poor dog did not deserve this. She was only 4 1/2 years old. I thought she'd be around for 10 more years. Shit, 10 more DAYS would have been nice...not 10 more minutes. Or 10 more seconds.
But now she is gone...on her way to Rainbow Bridge to play with the other animals. In a land of no steps and shorter couches to jump on. A place where cookies flow like rivers, and she can continue to be a professional sleeper. Damn, that dog could SLEEP!
Here's Lola doing what she did best, along with Scrappy
In my eyes, she was the absolute sweetest dog we ever had. She just wanted to love you (unless you were another dog, I guess), cuddle with you, let you rub her shoulders - and you were more than a criminal if you stopped. She was the great protector, she was the rolling wonder, she was our 'sausage girl'..."Lolee"... "Fatty". Her paw was strong enough to hold your foot down...or so she thought...
Guys, do me a favor, if you have a pet or pets, give them a hug and a treat tonite, because you never know when it will be the last time you do. I didn't know... and I'd give anything for just one more...
I'll have to live without that...and without her...
I'm absolutely broken.
I'm a dog lover (actually a lover of most all animals) and believe firmly that dogs rank above most people in my personal chain of 'things I care about'. I love my dogs so much - I don't have kids...I have dogs.
***By the way, when I say "I have dogs", I mean "We". The dogs belong to everyone in my family, and we fight over who gets the dogs to sleep with at night. :-) ***
They mean the world to me, and they are spoiled endlessly. And even then, I feel bad that I don't play with them more, or give them more attention. I guess all parents feel that way from time to time...
I'm on the road in Rochester right now, and as I always do when I am away, I called home last night to say hi and check in on the puppies...
This time, my sister answered - not a shock, since she moved back home this past weekend, but not something I really expected either. I could tell there was something wrong when I asked where Mom was.
"Uh...um...She's with...um...she's out. She's out."
"Ok, how are the doggies?"
"The dogs are ok..." her voice trailed off.
Then she started crying a lot and said "No, everything is not ok with the dogs..."
She tells the the story:
She came home from work and saw Lola with her head bobbing back and forth, not able to move, panting and panicking. Christina picked her up and Lola was completely limp on the lower half of her body - her back legs didn't move, she didn't claw, she couldn't stand let alone walk...
Christina called my mother, and she came home as soon as she could.
They took her to Dr. Greco, our vet, and he took x-rays and did a pain test.
Pain test - negative...she felt nothing.
X-rays showed separation between L-3 and L-4 in her vertebrae.
The Dr. recommended she see a surgeon about this, but that this wasn't too promising. Lola and my mother were at the surgical hospital in Bohemia when I finally got in touch with her.
From what I was hearing, this didn't seem too good at all. My stomach sank and I felt sick. I still do.
She didn't know what she wanted to do - surgery, no surgery, euthanization...it's a tough thing to play God in those situations. Those of you with animals, I don't have to tell you twice - you know this.
If my vote counted at all, I said that unless there was a great chance of success, she should be put to sleep. What I never want is for her or any of our animals to suffer or not be able to lead a happy life. This situation didn't seem to set the table for a positive outcome.
However, the people at the hospital said she had patella reflexes and that she DID feel deep pain - not sure what that meant, but ok...especially since Dr. Greco got nothing. So the decision was made keep Lola overnight, and to inject her with a massive shot of steroids to possibly ebb any swelling and inflammation that may have been clamping down on Lola's spinal cord.
I don't think anyone slept well last night.
"I tried all night not to break down and cry
As the tears rolled down my face
I felt so cold and empty
Like a lost soul out of place"
- Poison, 1990 "Something to Believe In"
I woke up (?) this morning not feeling any better than the night before. I knew that the next phone call I get would be from my mother and it wouldn't be good.
I hate being right sometimes.
The board certified neurologist had looked at the x-rays and examined Lola, and the prognosis was grim. "Maybe", "possibly", and other words were used, but he didn't even recommend doing any other tests to be sure, because he knew that she would never be right. Or even close to it.
My mother opted not to do any surgery, though she told me later that "if there was even a glimmer of hope, I would have latched on to it"... but there was nothing to hold on to.
She left work to go be with Lola. She spent about an hour with her before the needle came. She was petting her and calming her down, keeping her sane. Mom teased Lola a little, asking if she wanted a cookie...Lola perked up a little with that statement. She made sure she gave Lola a kiss for me and told Lola that I loved her very much.
I can't tell you how much it hurt not to do that myself. I'm dieing inside over that. Even typing it now, I feel like someone is hitting me in the stomach with a baseball bat. It's so hard not to be able to say goodbye and to be there for my mother as well. My mother has done this way too often, and it never gets easier.
Then, they administered the needle, and shortly after she was at rest.
I knew it was just a matter of time that I got the call saying it was all over. Hours were like days. That waiting and waiting is absolute torture. You want to scream but can't because you know it won't do any good. On top of that, I was at work, and had to keep it together as much as I could. That didn't work so well...but I survived the day somehow.
I got the call, and what I hoped would happen didn't. In the past, there would be almost a rush of relief because a dog was in pain, or even if it were a sick relative who had passed, and you were almost happy that they were not in pain anymore. I didn't have that this time... This poor dog did not deserve this. She was only 4 1/2 years old. I thought she'd be around for 10 more years. Shit, 10 more DAYS would have been nice...not 10 more minutes. Or 10 more seconds.
But now she is gone...on her way to Rainbow Bridge to play with the other animals. In a land of no steps and shorter couches to jump on. A place where cookies flow like rivers, and she can continue to be a professional sleeper. Damn, that dog could SLEEP!
Here's Lola doing what she did best, along with ScrappyIn my eyes, she was the absolute sweetest dog we ever had. She just wanted to love you (unless you were another dog, I guess), cuddle with you, let you rub her shoulders - and you were more than a criminal if you stopped. She was the great protector, she was the rolling wonder, she was our 'sausage girl'..."Lolee"... "Fatty". Her paw was strong enough to hold your foot down...or so she thought...
Guys, do me a favor, if you have a pet or pets, give them a hug and a treat tonite, because you never know when it will be the last time you do. I didn't know... and I'd give anything for just one more...
I'll have to live without that...and without her...
I miss you and I love you, Lola.
Lola Venezia
2006 - 2010
Rest In Peace
2006 - 2010
Rest In Peace
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
The Real Angel Dust King for a Day of the Year...
"It's always funny until someone gets hurt...
...and then it's just hilarious..."
- Faith No More, 1995
So last night my bro Rich and myself went to go see Faith No More at the Williamsburg Waterfront in Brooklyn. Needless to say, I have been waiting for this for a while - I haven't seen FNM since 1990 when they opened up for Billy Idol (!) at Jones Beach. Rich actually missed that show for one reason or another that I am sure he now regrets, but this is what made this the perfect b-day gift for him.
"Don't you look so surprised!
Happy birthday, Fucker!"
As the day approached I found myself wanting to go to the second show they had added at the WW - which was actually on the 2nd, but there was no way... Life is what happens when you are making other plans, ya know?
Anyway, here is my recap...
"Shit Lives Forever!!!"
- THE VENUE -
Williamsburg Waterfront is a great place to see a show...if you are in the front row, I guess. It's set up really, really weird. First off, it's smack in the middle of downtown Greenpoint - which isn't a bad thing, except for the fact that there are NO PARKING AREAS AT ALL!!!!! We literally parked about 1/2 a mile away on the street. This is your only option. Considering that there are thousands of residents in the area to begin with (yes, it's more or less in a residential area) and add in the thousand or so cars that drove there, too, AND add the "Brooklyn" factor...well you have a clusterfuck to rival some of the best clusterfucks throughout history. I will not be naming them now, but you know they exist...
With that said, I guess it was nice to save what would have been about $20 for parking. Tickets for the show weren't too bad either, running about $50 a pop.
"One minute here and one minute there
Don't know if I'll laugh or cry"
There is one - ONE - entrance to the venue... This precipitated a line that was so long you'd think that they were giving out toilet paper in the cold war-era Soviet Union.
The venue is on N 8th and Kent. By the time we got to the end of the line, we were at N15th. We parked on N 5th. 90 degrees. Humid. Suck.
It was so comical! I looked in vain to see if I knew someone - anyone - even peripherally, so I could jump in line sooner. No go - which I really found odd for a concert. I usually see a few peeps from olden days...
Water at the venue was a STEAL at $2 a bottle (I got 3 bottles immediately) considering the almost 90 degree heat + humidity at the start of the show (about 8:30pm!). There were also taco stands, beer gardens, and not enough porta potties...
The venue itself, I must say, had great sound for an outdoor arena, though it could have used some more volume. The soundboard area was positioned stage right, which is odd, but it really opened the middle of the viewing area. However, what is working against it is the viewing area for ticketholders (all general admission) slopes DOWNWARD as you get further away from the stage. I am sure that this is in an effort to have any rain/floods/etc. drain into the East River, but what it creates is a reverse experience from all other venues I have ever been to. The tall guy in front of you has now gotten taller, and the tall guy in front of him may as well be Shaquille O'Neal. If you are under 5'5" and are NOT within 20 feet of the stage, I hope you like a nice light show... 'cause that is all you will see.
- THE PERFORMANCE -
There was an opening band that I think nobody got to see as doors opened an hour later than scheduled - adding to the clusterfuck... Bet they are happy about that...enjoy your career!
Then, prior to FNM taking the stage, was Neil Hamburger - the world's worst comedian, who has a deep-seeded hatred for the band Smashmouth. I can understand that, but there is only so much mileage you can get out of Smashmouth jokes...ugh...
FINALLY, FNM appears and rips into a killer rendition of the theme from "Midnight Cowboy". These guys are such pros and it showed. Song after song the musicianship was there, and Mike Patton keeps reminding me why he is hands down my favorite vocalist. Fuckin' evil genius...
Here are the songs performed: (Loosely in order, cause I just don't remember all of it)
Midnight Cowboy
The Real Thing
Land of Sunshine
Gentle Art of Making Enemies (yes!)
Be Aggressive
Last Cup of Sorrow
Easy (Commodores cover)
Diggin' a Grave
I Started a Joke (Bee Gees cover)
Mid-Live Crisis (w/a breakdown featuring main riff from "Sir Duke" by Stevie Wonder)
Ben (Jackson 5 cover)
Ashes to Ashes
King for a Day
Epic
(Encore #1)
As the Worm Turns
We Care A Lot
(Encore #2)
Stripsearch
Ok, I think that is all of them! May have missed one, but I think I got it all...
"You want it all, but you can't have it..."
Ending with "Stripsearch", for me, was weak... Yeah, it's a cool tune, but WAAAAAY too mellow... Check out a sample on iTunes or something (it's from "Album of the Year") and let me know if you agree.
THE highlight of the show was definitely "Mid-Life Crisis". The band stopped mid song and allowed the audience to sing the chorus - we nailed it. Then, as opposed to going back into the song, they played the opening riff from "Sir Duke". GENIUS! And totally what you would expect from an FNM show.
The choice of "Ben" was WAY obscure, and totally on point at the same time. Killer rendition...
What I would have liked to have seen them perform would have been:
Ricochet
Cuckoo for Caca
From Out Of Nowhere
Surprise! Your Dead!
I found it really odd that they only played 2 songs from "The Real Thing", which was their breakthrough album.
Conversely, they played 3 songs from "Album of the Year" - most likely their weakest selling album. Not to say that the songs aren't quality - "Ashes to Ashes" was great, and "Last Cup of Sorrow" was awesome as well - but I would have gladly traded "Stripsearch" for any of the 4 songs I mentioned.
All in all, FNM proved that they are still very relevant. It's important to note how may people were influenced by them - the crowd was decidedly younger - not teens, but a mid-20's crowd. I did feel a bit older than most attendees, but I was also one of the few in the crowd that saw them 20 years ago!
In any case, it seems like they have a large, rabid fan base but still get treated like a dirty little secret or a guilty pleasure, in a way. It's a shame that we will probably never see them perform again after this tour (Billy Gould said "Thanks for comin', 'cause you'll probably never see us again) but I guess sometimes it's a good thing to go out on top and leave them wanting more. I don't think this will be the last time I see Mike Patton (I've seen him with 3 different bands - FNM, Mr. Bungle, Fantomas) or Mike "Puffy" Bordin (FNM, Ozzy/Black Sabbath, Korn) playing around. The other guys have stuff they are involved in, too, but when they all get together something just happens that can't be bottled, duplicated, or captured any other way. Maybe they'll change their minds...
Peace
- M
Song lyrics taken from:
Ricochet
Gentle Art of Making Enemies
Cuckoo for Caca
From Out of Nowhere
Epic
I'm not going to list the albums...just go buy them... This band ROCKS...
...and then it's just hilarious..."
- Faith No More, 1995
So last night my bro Rich and myself went to go see Faith No More at the Williamsburg Waterfront in Brooklyn. Needless to say, I have been waiting for this for a while - I haven't seen FNM since 1990 when they opened up for Billy Idol (!) at Jones Beach. Rich actually missed that show for one reason or another that I am sure he now regrets, but this is what made this the perfect b-day gift for him.
"Don't you look so surprised!
Happy birthday, Fucker!"
As the day approached I found myself wanting to go to the second show they had added at the WW - which was actually on the 2nd, but there was no way... Life is what happens when you are making other plans, ya know?
Anyway, here is my recap...
"Shit Lives Forever!!!"
- THE VENUE -
Williamsburg Waterfront is a great place to see a show...if you are in the front row, I guess. It's set up really, really weird. First off, it's smack in the middle of downtown Greenpoint - which isn't a bad thing, except for the fact that there are NO PARKING AREAS AT ALL!!!!! We literally parked about 1/2 a mile away on the street. This is your only option. Considering that there are thousands of residents in the area to begin with (yes, it's more or less in a residential area) and add in the thousand or so cars that drove there, too, AND add the "Brooklyn" factor...well you have a clusterfuck to rival some of the best clusterfucks throughout history. I will not be naming them now, but you know they exist...
With that said, I guess it was nice to save what would have been about $20 for parking. Tickets for the show weren't too bad either, running about $50 a pop.
"One minute here and one minute there
Don't know if I'll laugh or cry"
There is one - ONE - entrance to the venue... This precipitated a line that was so long you'd think that they were giving out toilet paper in the cold war-era Soviet Union.
The venue is on N 8th and Kent. By the time we got to the end of the line, we were at N15th. We parked on N 5th. 90 degrees. Humid. Suck.
It was so comical! I looked in vain to see if I knew someone - anyone - even peripherally, so I could jump in line sooner. No go - which I really found odd for a concert. I usually see a few peeps from olden days...
Water at the venue was a STEAL at $2 a bottle (I got 3 bottles immediately) considering the almost 90 degree heat + humidity at the start of the show (about 8:30pm!). There were also taco stands, beer gardens, and not enough porta potties...
The venue itself, I must say, had great sound for an outdoor arena, though it could have used some more volume. The soundboard area was positioned stage right, which is odd, but it really opened the middle of the viewing area. However, what is working against it is the viewing area for ticketholders (all general admission) slopes DOWNWARD as you get further away from the stage. I am sure that this is in an effort to have any rain/floods/etc. drain into the East River, but what it creates is a reverse experience from all other venues I have ever been to. The tall guy in front of you has now gotten taller, and the tall guy in front of him may as well be Shaquille O'Neal. If you are under 5'5" and are NOT within 20 feet of the stage, I hope you like a nice light show... 'cause that is all you will see.
- THE PERFORMANCE -
There was an opening band that I think nobody got to see as doors opened an hour later than scheduled - adding to the clusterfuck... Bet they are happy about that...enjoy your career!
Then, prior to FNM taking the stage, was Neil Hamburger - the world's worst comedian, who has a deep-seeded hatred for the band Smashmouth. I can understand that, but there is only so much mileage you can get out of Smashmouth jokes...ugh...
FINALLY, FNM appears and rips into a killer rendition of the theme from "Midnight Cowboy". These guys are such pros and it showed. Song after song the musicianship was there, and Mike Patton keeps reminding me why he is hands down my favorite vocalist. Fuckin' evil genius...
Here are the songs performed: (Loosely in order, cause I just don't remember all of it)
Midnight Cowboy
The Real Thing
Land of Sunshine
Gentle Art of Making Enemies (yes!)
Be Aggressive
Last Cup of Sorrow
Easy (Commodores cover)
Diggin' a Grave
I Started a Joke (Bee Gees cover)
Mid-Live Crisis (w/a breakdown featuring main riff from "Sir Duke" by Stevie Wonder)
Ben (Jackson 5 cover)
Ashes to Ashes
King for a Day
Epic
(Encore #1)
As the Worm Turns
We Care A Lot
(Encore #2)
Stripsearch
Ok, I think that is all of them! May have missed one, but I think I got it all...
"You want it all, but you can't have it..."
Ending with "Stripsearch", for me, was weak... Yeah, it's a cool tune, but WAAAAAY too mellow... Check out a sample on iTunes or something (it's from "Album of the Year") and let me know if you agree.
THE highlight of the show was definitely "Mid-Life Crisis". The band stopped mid song and allowed the audience to sing the chorus - we nailed it. Then, as opposed to going back into the song, they played the opening riff from "Sir Duke". GENIUS! And totally what you would expect from an FNM show.
The choice of "Ben" was WAY obscure, and totally on point at the same time. Killer rendition...
What I would have liked to have seen them perform would have been:
Ricochet
Cuckoo for Caca
From Out Of Nowhere
Surprise! Your Dead!
I found it really odd that they only played 2 songs from "The Real Thing", which was their breakthrough album.
Conversely, they played 3 songs from "Album of the Year" - most likely their weakest selling album. Not to say that the songs aren't quality - "Ashes to Ashes" was great, and "Last Cup of Sorrow" was awesome as well - but I would have gladly traded "Stripsearch" for any of the 4 songs I mentioned.
All in all, FNM proved that they are still very relevant. It's important to note how may people were influenced by them - the crowd was decidedly younger - not teens, but a mid-20's crowd. I did feel a bit older than most attendees, but I was also one of the few in the crowd that saw them 20 years ago!
In any case, it seems like they have a large, rabid fan base but still get treated like a dirty little secret or a guilty pleasure, in a way. It's a shame that we will probably never see them perform again after this tour (Billy Gould said "Thanks for comin', 'cause you'll probably never see us again) but I guess sometimes it's a good thing to go out on top and leave them wanting more. I don't think this will be the last time I see Mike Patton (I've seen him with 3 different bands - FNM, Mr. Bungle, Fantomas) or Mike "Puffy" Bordin (FNM, Ozzy/Black Sabbath, Korn) playing around. The other guys have stuff they are involved in, too, but when they all get together something just happens that can't be bottled, duplicated, or captured any other way. Maybe they'll change their minds...
Peace
- M
Song lyrics taken from:
Ricochet
Gentle Art of Making Enemies
Cuckoo for Caca
From Out of Nowhere
Epic
I'm not going to list the albums...just go buy them... This band ROCKS...
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
"If I had a million dollars..."
Ok, so, I am not going to quote that stupid song by the Barenaked Ladies...whose band name is even stupider than the damn song... but it is an appropriate title for this blog post...
So, not talking about weight, drama, brooding, etc., this time...
What I do want to talk about is what I dream of...hittin' the lottery!!!
I, as many others do, dream/wish/hope/pray/beg/sacrifice farm animals to win the lottery - a big one!!! I'm talkin' $100million+ AFTER taxes...though I don't think I would complain too much if it were $100million before taxes...
Would you?
Anyhow, I always think of the things I would do if I did win...and after I paid all my bills. I figured why not put them in a list for all of you to look at and make fun of. Some need explanation, so I decided to 'expand' on certain ones.
So, here goes - and this is in no particular order:
What would YOU do with it all?
- Mike
So, not talking about weight, drama, brooding, etc., this time...
What I do want to talk about is what I dream of...hittin' the lottery!!!
I, as many others do, dream/wish/hope/pray/beg/sacrifice farm animals to win the lottery - a big one!!! I'm talkin' $100million+ AFTER taxes...though I don't think I would complain too much if it were $100million before taxes...
Would you?
Anyhow, I always think of the things I would do if I did win...and after I paid all my bills. I figured why not put them in a list for all of you to look at and make fun of. Some need explanation, so I decided to 'expand' on certain ones.
So, here goes - and this is in no particular order:
- Buy homes in San Diego, Las Vegas, Vermont, and somewhere in Long Island. No house would cost more than $2m except in L.I. where it almost has to be...
- I would take flying lessons, so I can be like my hero, John F. Kennedy, Jr. Wait, no...I take that back...all of it...
- I would take flying lessons. End of sentence.
- A Gulfstream G5 private jet...however, I would gladly take a G3 or G4 like this one if it was all blinged out.
- I would HAVE to stay at The Mansion at MGM Grand for, like, a week...
- I'd buy a 1959 Gibson Les Paul...and actually PLAY IT!!!
- One word: PORSCHE - a 911 or 996 would fit the bill - must be white with gold/black trim and a convertible
- Buy Mom a new house...not that she doesn't like the one she is in...but hey...
- Put my sister in the old house until the neighbors have her arrested for tomfoolery and mopery.
- Buy some land to be a no-kill, dog rescue/adoption center. Specifically for smaller/midsize dogs.
- Speaking of, need to get a friend for Scrappy and Lola to play with.
- Get center suite behind home plate in Yankee Stadium. Go to 1/2 the games and donate 1/2 the games to a great charity - to Met fans, so they can see what a winner looks like.
- RECORDING STUDIO!!!! Filled with all the trimmings - a big 'live' room, nice control room, 2 vocal booths, 2 amp booths, lots of baffling, a sweet 'living' area...and all the cool gear it can handle.
- Go somewhere for a while to live in obscurity, this way people will forget I won so much money and not ask me for handouts. Believe me, I would share with my close friends who are deserving, but 6th cousins 3x removed...go away...
What would YOU do with it all?
- Mike
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
...Anything other than me...
"I dont wanna be anything other than
what I've been tryin' to be lately"
- Gavin DeGraw, 2003
Well, it's been 2 months, and I STILL suck at updating this thing as often as I want...grrrrr.... I'M TRYIN, OK??!?!?!?!
So, I didn't hit my goal of losing 30 lbs by May 12 - that was a bit unrealistic goal-wise - but I HAVE lost 20 lbs as of May 30. That, to me, is an accomplishment. I never lost that much weight in all my attempts of dieting...gotten close to that, but never got there.
Then again, I think I had more to lose (weight-wise) at the point I started this go round.
Either way, I don't care, I'm losin' weight and I feel GREAT about it! For the first time in a long time I am starting to feel better about my appearance, and generally feel healthier. Still, have a ways to go...this was the first 20 lbs. Next goal is the next 20...then finally the LAST 20 - which I am sure will be a considerable pain in the ass.
I AM looking forward to that particular pain in the ass, though. I don't think I would mind as much struggling with the last 2o of 60 lbs lost...means I would have lost 40 in the first place!
I kinda get depressed sometimes, thinking that I became the guy that needed to lose that weight. I never wanted that for me, but it just went that way over time...slowly but surely...one pound at a time...until I reached my ultimate critical mass. There was a point where I weighed myself and I saw "243" on the scale. THAT sucked big time - I'm 5'8", not 7' 2", so yeah, I was barrel shaped.
When I started this diet...I topped off at 240... Now I am 220, and sinking fast - in the good way, for once. :-)
Building that friggin' paver stone patio over the Memorial Day weekend helped me lose about 4 lbs - and that is after all the eating and drinking I did to replenish myself. And I also got a nice tan...
"All I have to do is think of me, and I've piece of mind"
I'm really just trying to keep focused on this - there are so many temptations that can hold me back, especially when I am on the road for work. Living out of hotels and eating shit processed foods is NOT conducive to losing weight. As I write this I feel sick from the lobster spinach flatbread pizza I got from UNO's...though it was yummy.
I'll just have to find a way to work it off tomorrow - running, lifting, etc. I also have to get back into a running regimen. Kinda slacked off of that after hitting 2.3 miles - most I've ever done. Still wanna get to 5k distance (3.1 miles) and see if I can enter a race or 2 later this summer or possibly in the fall. THAT would be cool and completely out of character for me.
Or is it?
Maybe I have been changing my life without really realizing it because I am not trying to do EVERYTHING AT ONCE like I always do. Which, in turn, ruins ANY chance of me being successful. Am I maturing or am I just realizing my own pace? I have no clue.
I think 'maturing' because I am looking at my hairline (or lack thereof) more and more these days...noticing the signs of maturity...blah.
"I'm tired of looking 'round rooms thinking what I got to do
or who I'm supposed to be"
In the end, I think I have just given up on what it is that everyone else expects me to be, what I need to do to be better, how I need to do it, etc, etc... Not that I completely discount their opinions - not at all...in fact people have given me some great ideas. But I really, really, really need to do things at my pace and in my own way in order for me to succeed. With time, the pace and frequency can speed up in reaching my goals...but I really need to do things for me, by me - and with the support of others.
I can't tell you how good it has been to hear words of encouragement from friends - both in the flesh and on places like facebook - cheering me on. For once, I am accepting of them. I never felt worthy. I always felt like I was going to fail, and then did everything I could to make sure I did.
Yes, I succeeded greatly at failure!
I don't wanna fail anymore.
I don't wanna be that person.
I'm changing for the better, and I like this person more.
I don't wanna be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately...
"I don't wanna be anything other than me..."
L8R...
Lyrics used as inspiration
brazenly stolen from
"I Don't Wanna Be" by Gavin DeGraw
from his 2003 release "Chariot"
what I've been tryin' to be lately"
- Gavin DeGraw, 2003
Well, it's been 2 months, and I STILL suck at updating this thing as often as I want...grrrrr.... I'M TRYIN, OK??!?!?!?!
So, I didn't hit my goal of losing 30 lbs by May 12 - that was a bit unrealistic goal-wise - but I HAVE lost 20 lbs as of May 30. That, to me, is an accomplishment. I never lost that much weight in all my attempts of dieting...gotten close to that, but never got there.
Then again, I think I had more to lose (weight-wise) at the point I started this go round.
Either way, I don't care, I'm losin' weight and I feel GREAT about it! For the first time in a long time I am starting to feel better about my appearance, and generally feel healthier. Still, have a ways to go...this was the first 20 lbs. Next goal is the next 20...then finally the LAST 20 - which I am sure will be a considerable pain in the ass.
I AM looking forward to that particular pain in the ass, though. I don't think I would mind as much struggling with the last 2o of 60 lbs lost...means I would have lost 40 in the first place!
I kinda get depressed sometimes, thinking that I became the guy that needed to lose that weight. I never wanted that for me, but it just went that way over time...slowly but surely...one pound at a time...until I reached my ultimate critical mass. There was a point where I weighed myself and I saw "243" on the scale. THAT sucked big time - I'm 5'8", not 7' 2", so yeah, I was barrel shaped.
When I started this diet...I topped off at 240... Now I am 220, and sinking fast - in the good way, for once. :-)
Building that friggin' paver stone patio over the Memorial Day weekend helped me lose about 4 lbs - and that is after all the eating and drinking I did to replenish myself. And I also got a nice tan...
"All I have to do is think of me, and I've piece of mind"
I'm really just trying to keep focused on this - there are so many temptations that can hold me back, especially when I am on the road for work. Living out of hotels and eating shit processed foods is NOT conducive to losing weight. As I write this I feel sick from the lobster spinach flatbread pizza I got from UNO's...though it was yummy.
I'll just have to find a way to work it off tomorrow - running, lifting, etc. I also have to get back into a running regimen. Kinda slacked off of that after hitting 2.3 miles - most I've ever done. Still wanna get to 5k distance (3.1 miles) and see if I can enter a race or 2 later this summer or possibly in the fall. THAT would be cool and completely out of character for me.
Or is it?
Maybe I have been changing my life without really realizing it because I am not trying to do EVERYTHING AT ONCE like I always do. Which, in turn, ruins ANY chance of me being successful. Am I maturing or am I just realizing my own pace? I have no clue.
I think 'maturing' because I am looking at my hairline (or lack thereof) more and more these days...noticing the signs of maturity...blah.
"I'm tired of looking 'round rooms thinking what I got to do
or who I'm supposed to be"
In the end, I think I have just given up on what it is that everyone else expects me to be, what I need to do to be better, how I need to do it, etc, etc... Not that I completely discount their opinions - not at all...in fact people have given me some great ideas. But I really, really, really need to do things at my pace and in my own way in order for me to succeed. With time, the pace and frequency can speed up in reaching my goals...but I really need to do things for me, by me - and with the support of others.
I can't tell you how good it has been to hear words of encouragement from friends - both in the flesh and on places like facebook - cheering me on. For once, I am accepting of them. I never felt worthy. I always felt like I was going to fail, and then did everything I could to make sure I did.
Yes, I succeeded greatly at failure!
I don't wanna fail anymore.
I don't wanna be that person.
I'm changing for the better, and I like this person more.
I don't wanna be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately...
"I don't wanna be anything other than me..."
L8R...
Lyrics used as inspiration
brazenly stolen from
"I Don't Wanna Be" by Gavin DeGraw
from his 2003 release "Chariot"
Thursday, April 1, 2010
STOP!
"Save the complaints for a party conversation.
The world is loaded, it's lit to pop and nobody is gonna stop..."
- Jane's Addiction
Why is it that people do what they do? Just a question...
Ok, now that we got THAT question out of the way...not like I'd ever expect an answer that solved it all...I can move on.
So, anyhow, we are 3 full months in to 2010 and things really haven't changed so much - for better or worse. I'm still poor, still fat, still...me. Then again, if I weren't me I wouldn't know who I was. And I may not like that person anyhow.
So FUCK that guy! Stop trying to make me be you! Punk!
What?
Anyhoo, like I was saying, things haven't changed a whole lot. I'm still in a funk, but now I think I can come out of it. Feels more possible. It's weird, because I am TOTALLY reaching the breaking point on a whole lot of stuff, and THAT is what is leading me to think that I am making progress.
Does that make ANY sense? Good I'm sure it did(n't).
"One come a day, the water will run,
no man will stand for things that he had done..."
The problem is that I THINK I hold myself accountable for my actions, when in fact I don't. It's hard to hold yourself accountable because HOW do you punish yourself??? What is the penalty - besides things remaining in stasis - never changing for the better, but slowly and progressively worsening. Not like that isn't a strong punishment, but when it isn't enough, what else is there?
Essentially, what I need to do is just start depriving myself of the things that are bad for me. Now, this is the REAL hard part because the things that are bad for me are things I REALLY LIKE!
Here's a short list...
Basically, I have been setting goals... Much like I have been doing at work with some success. Here are some of them, and I will force myself to keep the updates coming on them:
So there it is...in a nutshell and a half - couldn't fit it all into one nutshell. Maybe a walnut shell. That's a larger nut. Shut up, I know what you all are thinking - filthy minds!
Anyhow, that is all for now...I'll check in here with progress reports...wish me luck - I need it and never have any...
"Gimmie that -- your automobile, turn off that smokestack and
that goddamn radio - hum... along with me...
Hum along with the t.v. Oh oh oh...o-o-o-O-oh....o-o-o-oh...oh, no...
No one's...gonna...STOP"
Lyrics borrowed, not stolen (I'll give them back)
from Jane's Addiction off their 1990 LP (Yeah, I said LP!)
"Ritual de lo Habitual"
on Warner Bros. Records...
Damn, that Dave Navarro is a good
guitarist!
The world is loaded, it's lit to pop and nobody is gonna stop..."
- Jane's Addiction
Why is it that people do what they do? Just a question...
Ok, now that we got THAT question out of the way...not like I'd ever expect an answer that solved it all...I can move on.
So, anyhow, we are 3 full months in to 2010 and things really haven't changed so much - for better or worse. I'm still poor, still fat, still...me. Then again, if I weren't me I wouldn't know who I was. And I may not like that person anyhow.
So FUCK that guy! Stop trying to make me be you! Punk!
What?
Anyhoo, like I was saying, things haven't changed a whole lot. I'm still in a funk, but now I think I can come out of it. Feels more possible. It's weird, because I am TOTALLY reaching the breaking point on a whole lot of stuff, and THAT is what is leading me to think that I am making progress.
Does that make ANY sense? Good I'm sure it did(n't).
"One come a day, the water will run,
no man will stand for things that he had done..."
The problem is that I THINK I hold myself accountable for my actions, when in fact I don't. It's hard to hold yourself accountable because HOW do you punish yourself??? What is the penalty - besides things remaining in stasis - never changing for the better, but slowly and progressively worsening. Not like that isn't a strong punishment, but when it isn't enough, what else is there?
Essentially, what I need to do is just start depriving myself of the things that are bad for me. Now, this is the REAL hard part because the things that are bad for me are things I REALLY LIKE!
Here's a short list...
- Gambling
- Mindless gaming on the computer
- Spending money on cool, new and exciting toys - i.e. recording equipment
- Food...the bad stuff...
- Occasionally I like smoking...most of the time I hate myself for doing it...but it still belongs here.
- Saving money
- Being constructive and productive with time
- Exercising - I want to be addicted to this!
- Food...the good stuff...
- NOT smoking
Basically, I have been setting goals... Much like I have been doing at work with some success. Here are some of them, and I will force myself to keep the updates coming on them:
- Weight - want to lose 30lbs total by May 12 (vacation) lost 8 already...
- Saving money - well, have gotten approval on debt consolidation loan. It's a big 'un, like owning a car-sized payments. But, needs to be done. Paid off in less than 3 years (the loan is for 4 years)
- Sleeping more at more normal hours - THIS one will be hard...PERIOD.
- Exercising - actually DOING something for more than 10 minutes that requires some physical exertion. This will definitely help objective #1 tenfold...but I am a lazy mother fucker. Oh, and doing it on a regular basis. Someone once told me about this whole 'consistency' thing...there is something to it I think...
- Stop making excuses to spend money on shit that makes me LESS productive.
- USING THE SHIT I HAVE BOUGHT ALREADY OR SELL IT AND BE DONE!!! If I ain;t using it, it should GO! Can only have so many hobbies. Oh, on that note...
- Stop finding new hobbies.
- Start being more regular with my blog. Quarterly blogs suck...actually, I think THIS blog sucks, but I needed to type it out to get shit straight for me. Figure if enough of you readers (all 6 of you) ask me about it I may do something to show progress. Who knows...
So there it is...in a nutshell and a half - couldn't fit it all into one nutshell. Maybe a walnut shell. That's a larger nut. Shut up, I know what you all are thinking - filthy minds!
Anyhow, that is all for now...I'll check in here with progress reports...wish me luck - I need it and never have any...
"Gimmie that -- your automobile, turn off that smokestack and
that goddamn radio - hum... along with me...
Hum along with the t.v. Oh oh oh...o-o-o-O-oh....o-o-o-oh...oh, no...
No one's...gonna...STOP"
Lyrics borrowed, not stolen (I'll give them back)
from Jane's Addiction off their 1990 LP (Yeah, I said LP!)
"Ritual de lo Habitual"
on Warner Bros. Records...
Damn, that Dave Navarro is a good
guitarist!
Friday, January 1, 2010
Resolving to be Resolute...
So a new year is here, and not a minute too soon. I had a quieter New Year's, which was both bad and good...but it is what it is and now it's over.
2009 sucked a big one. Not something I wish to repeat - or wish on anyone else, really. There were flashes of greatness, flashes of brilliance, and a whole long period of shit... But in the end - literally - it ended, and now (supposedly) this is a new beginning.
What I don't really understand is HOW this is truly a new beginning, really. It's now 12:36am, Jan 1, 2010 as I write this, and I am still broke, I am still not happy professionally, I am still a disorganized mess, overweight, smoking, gambling, and a part-time louse... I gave up the full time job years ago. The pay sucked.
There was a conversation earlier this evening, and I was asked what resolutions I had made.
Here they are:
Did you get all that? Good.
If not, here it is in plain english - I MADE NO RESOLUTIONS! I no longer shall resolve to do ANYTHING on a January 1 timeline and have any realistic expectation of making it stick.
And how long are we supposed hold on to our resolutions for? Are they supposed to be for life? Or just for the next year?
"I am going to lose weight this year!" But next year you shall become a big, fat cow?
If you ARE going to make such a resolution, make sure it's all about a lifestyle change and not a temporary 'band aid'. This does nothing but frustrate you and make you feel like you failed if things don't go as you 'resolve' to do.
Here are some other 'resolution rules' I just made up now:
Wait, no...I give a shit about this...wonder if I am any 'good' at it...
Peace...
- Mike
2009 sucked a big one. Not something I wish to repeat - or wish on anyone else, really. There were flashes of greatness, flashes of brilliance, and a whole long period of shit... But in the end - literally - it ended, and now (supposedly) this is a new beginning.
What I don't really understand is HOW this is truly a new beginning, really. It's now 12:36am, Jan 1, 2010 as I write this, and I am still broke, I am still not happy professionally, I am still a disorganized mess, overweight, smoking, gambling, and a part-time louse... I gave up the full time job years ago. The pay sucked.
There was a conversation earlier this evening, and I was asked what resolutions I had made.
Here they are:
Did you get all that? Good.
If not, here it is in plain english - I MADE NO RESOLUTIONS! I no longer shall resolve to do ANYTHING on a January 1 timeline and have any realistic expectation of making it stick.
And how long are we supposed hold on to our resolutions for? Are they supposed to be for life? Or just for the next year?
"I am going to lose weight this year!" But next year you shall become a big, fat cow?
If you ARE going to make such a resolution, make sure it's all about a lifestyle change and not a temporary 'band aid'. This does nothing but frustrate you and make you feel like you failed if things don't go as you 'resolve' to do.
Here are some other 'resolution rules' I just made up now:
- Never have the date be Jan 1...make it arbitrary, and sometime after the New Year's hangover wears off.
- Make it specific, but realistic - you can't say "I resolve to be thin this year" when you look like Walter Hudson did...and expect to look like Kate Hudson when it's all done...
- If you are going to 'quit' something, make it something that you wouldn't want to do in the first place...this way it gives you a sense of completion.
- If you aren't sure what to resolve to do, because you are as pure as the driven snow, then resolve to pick up a bad habit that you can 'quit' NEXT year.
- Here's a blanket resolution to use - "My resolution is to be better at badminton". If you don't play at all, then play once, and then you have gotten better. If you DO play, keep playing, and you will most likely get better...but you still won't get laid. Sorry.
- Never resolve to get 'good' at something that you give a shit about. Mainly, this is because most things people want to be 'good' at have no measure of what 'good' IS. For instance, if you want to be a 'good' cook this year, then what are you going to measure that against? Is Bobby Flay 'good'? Emeril? Vongerichten? MOM? There is no barometer of 'good' in this type of instance - it's just 'yummy', 'edible' or 'I wouldn't serve this to my cat...or my neighbors cat'.
- Don't blog and tell people about what the 'resolution rules' should be...'cause that is just friggin' arrogant.
Wait, no...I give a shit about this...wonder if I am any 'good' at it...
Peace...
- Mike
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