Hope that is ok...
I mean, it's my friggin' blog, so it IS ok, and you can f**k off you don't like it...or something...
Is that too angry?
I'm actually in a decent mood today - travel was good, visited more stores than expected, got a phone call I have wanted for a while, ate a good lunch and dinner (though breakfast was a caloric travesty), and I actually had to tell myself it was OK NOT TO WORKOUT today. Before today, I ran 10 out of 11 days and worked out roughly every other day on top of it. Needed to step back and let the body heal. I'll be back at it tomorrow, though. Doing a morning/evening deal again...though I don't know where I am going to wind up tomorrow night - I'm ahead of schedule on store visits so things are a bit more 'fluid' as to where I end up tomorrow. I'll figure it out.
Anyways, yes, I am writing a lot here recently. I guess it is because I have had such a rough couple of weeks personally that I needed an avenue to get things out. I mean, I have friends and all, but after a while the stories get stale and sound rehearsed. my writings tend to be very much a 'stream-of-consciousness' kinda deal, which can be great until you get completely off track. Or boring. Like this blog entry is becoming. Sorry about that.
I really don't have much more to say tonight except that today was a pretty good day. If tomorrow is even better I will be thrilled. Hope that throwing it out to the universe like that will bear some fruit...we shall see...
- M
Monday, August 24, 2015
Sunday, August 23, 2015
If you want it, here it is...
...come and get it...
I love that Badfinger song - which was written by Sir Paul McCartney, by the way.
Basically, that song popped in my head because it seems to accurately reflect my attitude over the past week or so. If you want something bad enough, go get it... That truly is the mantra that I will be following going forward. I've done it to an extent, but over the past week I have taken a harder look at myself and saw ways to be more consistent with this. I have also seen people recklessly throwing opportunities away because they sell themselves short or are just too fucking lazy to deal with things in a way that would get them EVERYTHING they wanted. Or both, actually. One sort of perpetuates the other.
I don't want to be that person. I HAVE been that person in the past and I don't want to be that person again. I have too much pride in myself to sell myself short or settle for less than what I want, and therefore I am really pushing myself and my abilities.
Example: as I had written yesterday, I set a new PR for running a mile. I run more than a mile, but I like to see what my fastest mile can be and work to improve my average mile. For a long time, I was stuck around 9:21 or so. Yesterday, 9:19! I was happy! I made it known that my next goal was going to be breaking 9 minutes.
Today, I RAN AN 8:36 MILE! I couldn't believe it! I took all this anger and frustration I have felt over the past couple of weeks and really started channeling it into my fitness. It is obviously paying off. I pushed myself real hard, and yes, it hurt a bit that last tenth of a mile, but I don't care. I felt GREAT after seeing my time.
Another example: Yesterday, I played a gig for the first time in YEARS. 16 years to be exact. It wasn't MY gig - a friend had an acoustic gig at a vineyard on the North Fork of Long Island - and I asked if I could sit in for some songs. I basically sat in for about 2 sets worth of songs, playing mostly stuff I have NEVER played before...ever...I think of the 20 or so songs I played with him I played 18 for the first time - no practice, not even knowing the chords. Talk about trial by fire!
It was the most fun I have had in a while, and I miss that feeling. I need that feeling of excitement and childlike joy back in my life. It's been gone for too long even though it's only been a few weeks.
No one is going to provide this for me on their own, though. I have to go out and get it. I know what I want. I know where it is. I just need to get it.
"Did I hear you say that there must be a catch?"
Yep, there most certainly is a catch...but that's only because I am allowing there to be one. I need to either change my perspective on this subject or shift focus completely to another subject. In either case, the 'catch' needs to go. There should be nothing weighing down happiness. There shouldn't be restraints on what or who inspires you daily, what or who drives you to be a better person. It should be invited, welcomed, and embraced. However, if you wait too long to make that decision...well, as the song says:
"You better hurry 'cause its going fast!"
Nothing waits forever...grab it while you can. Live in the now and make it your future.
Peace y'all...
- M
I love that Badfinger song - which was written by Sir Paul McCartney, by the way.
Basically, that song popped in my head because it seems to accurately reflect my attitude over the past week or so. If you want something bad enough, go get it... That truly is the mantra that I will be following going forward. I've done it to an extent, but over the past week I have taken a harder look at myself and saw ways to be more consistent with this. I have also seen people recklessly throwing opportunities away because they sell themselves short or are just too fucking lazy to deal with things in a way that would get them EVERYTHING they wanted. Or both, actually. One sort of perpetuates the other.
I don't want to be that person. I HAVE been that person in the past and I don't want to be that person again. I have too much pride in myself to sell myself short or settle for less than what I want, and therefore I am really pushing myself and my abilities.
Example: as I had written yesterday, I set a new PR for running a mile. I run more than a mile, but I like to see what my fastest mile can be and work to improve my average mile. For a long time, I was stuck around 9:21 or so. Yesterday, 9:19! I was happy! I made it known that my next goal was going to be breaking 9 minutes.
Today, I RAN AN 8:36 MILE! I couldn't believe it! I took all this anger and frustration I have felt over the past couple of weeks and really started channeling it into my fitness. It is obviously paying off. I pushed myself real hard, and yes, it hurt a bit that last tenth of a mile, but I don't care. I felt GREAT after seeing my time.
Another example: Yesterday, I played a gig for the first time in YEARS. 16 years to be exact. It wasn't MY gig - a friend had an acoustic gig at a vineyard on the North Fork of Long Island - and I asked if I could sit in for some songs. I basically sat in for about 2 sets worth of songs, playing mostly stuff I have NEVER played before...ever...I think of the 20 or so songs I played with him I played 18 for the first time - no practice, not even knowing the chords. Talk about trial by fire!
It was the most fun I have had in a while, and I miss that feeling. I need that feeling of excitement and childlike joy back in my life. It's been gone for too long even though it's only been a few weeks.
No one is going to provide this for me on their own, though. I have to go out and get it. I know what I want. I know where it is. I just need to get it.
"Did I hear you say that there must be a catch?"
Yep, there most certainly is a catch...but that's only because I am allowing there to be one. I need to either change my perspective on this subject or shift focus completely to another subject. In either case, the 'catch' needs to go. There should be nothing weighing down happiness. There shouldn't be restraints on what or who inspires you daily, what or who drives you to be a better person. It should be invited, welcomed, and embraced. However, if you wait too long to make that decision...well, as the song says:
"You better hurry 'cause its going fast!"
Nothing waits forever...grab it while you can. Live in the now and make it your future.
Peace y'all...
- M
Saturday, August 22, 2015
Turning it to something better...
Been a rough week - actually MONTH - to say the least, but I am making it through. How I am doing it is be rededicating myself to getting in better shape - just taking the negativity and turning it to something better... Set another PR for a mile today....felt good to do that.
Tomorrow I think I'll run 5k and try to set more records...I didn't even TRY today and it happened, so we'll see what tomorrow brings.
Lost some more weight. I am looking at 199 up ahead. Once I break that 200 mark I am home free! Haven't been 199 since college!
I know the past couple of posts haven't been all that enjoyable, but no one is reading this anyhow. This is for me... Putting it out to the world makes me feel like I am telling someone about this...makes me feel better.
Maybe one day I'll tell the tale of all that is going on with me. I'm hoping I never have to, though. If I don't have to, it'll be for a great reason!
In the meantime, stay the course and be true to yourselves...
Tomorrow I think I'll run 5k and try to set more records...I didn't even TRY today and it happened, so we'll see what tomorrow brings.
Lost some more weight. I am looking at 199 up ahead. Once I break that 200 mark I am home free! Haven't been 199 since college!
I know the past couple of posts haven't been all that enjoyable, but no one is reading this anyhow. This is for me... Putting it out to the world makes me feel like I am telling someone about this...makes me feel better.
Maybe one day I'll tell the tale of all that is going on with me. I'm hoping I never have to, though. If I don't have to, it'll be for a great reason!
In the meantime, stay the course and be true to yourselves...
Sunday, August 16, 2015
Love with reckless abandon...
Everything is a test. Everything is a challenge. How you make it through and deal with issues defines your character. You can go about things with grace and acceptance, or you can fight for what you believe in. Both are viable. I believe I am the latter. Sometimes that's bad, but I don't care. I regret nothing. I love hard. I love with reckless abandon. I make no excuses for it because that is how I am. I am an emotional person with a hard exterior. Do not mistake my soft center for weakness, though. I AM strong - I'm just not afraid to show emotion. This is me. This is who I am.
Today is the first day of the rest of my life. I hit the reset button today on many things and start at zero. Long road ahead...anyone feel like being a co-pilot? This soft centered person could really use a friend.
Today is the first day of the rest of my life. I hit the reset button today on many things and start at zero. Long road ahead...anyone feel like being a co-pilot? This soft centered person could really use a friend.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
