When it rains...

Ok, so I admit to having a MySpace profile, but I don't really go all out to 'collect' friends or any inane shit like that. For me, MySpace has a specific purpose - besides freezing my computer up every time I log in.

I use it to stay in touch with friends, check out new music, see when bands are playing, etc. It used to be where I would blog - but I blogged so friggin infrequently that I decided to start one here to pay attention to.

Now, however, it has a new purpose - to see how many women from my past hunt me down.

This has been an interesting in my MySpace travelsm and not one that I ever planned on happening, but now it seems like the floodgates are opening. It's kinda cool!

First, about a month ago, my first true girlfriend found me on there - and I hadn't spoken to her in about 15 years...

Tonite, a girl that I was absolutely INFATUATED with during my high school years sent me a couple of messages.

The person who helped lead her to me was another girl that I was ...ahem... 'involved' with in my youth.

But really, it's not like I think these people are looking for me to climb on top of me while smearing peanut butter all over my...um, oh...sorry...lost train of thought - where was I? Oh yes...forgive me... It's not like I think these women want to be with me now or anything - they have their own lives - but the cool part about it is that they look upon me kinda fondly.

And that makes me feel good about myself and how I carried myself, and contiue to do. For the most part, I don't have the greatest self-esteem. Yes, I hide it with bravado and loud words, but in the end I am pretty friggin' insecure at times. Over the years I convinced myself that there was something wrong with me - I mean, I'm 34, single, but I am told I am a 'great catch' - then why the f**k am I single?!?!?!?!

So basically, kind words made me feel like shit. Now, however, I look at things much differently, and I am proud to know that people from my past think fondly of me. It's nice to know that people (men or women) looked at you in a positive light. To me, that says that I am NOT a bad person, that I left a good impression, that I meant something to them at one point - and they never forgot that.

Either that, or time has clouded their vision and they all have Alzheimer's... heehee!

- M