In The Meantime, Never Misunderstand Me... A two-part blog...

"Never misunderstand me
Keep away from me..."

- Godsmack, 1997

So, it seems as if my last blog was taken as the pity party that it was never intended to be (and noted by this author as something that it really WASN'T)...

So, before I get into my actual blog, here are some answers for...well, everyone I guess... :-)

1) Again, I'm NOT looking for pity

2) I'm NOT soliciting for answers

3) I DO understand that things happen for a reason - I just don't know what that reason is. I believe it's fair to wonder what that is from time to time...

4) Yes, what doesn't kill us makes us stronger, but it IS killing me right now...so I'm not strengthened. I'm living through it, and it's rough...

5) No, that comment you read that you thought was about you probably wasn't about you...but if you have a guilty conscience about it, then yeah, it WAS about you...how do ya feel NOW? :-P

6) No, there was no one singular event that set this off...this 'depression' is the sum of its parts: Bad Luck + more bad luck + bad timing + overworking + loneliness = where I am now...

7) A GENERAL SHOUT OUT - IF YOU ARE READING THIS AND YOU OWE ME MONEY, I REALLY COULD USE IT!!!!! Thank you...

Over time, all this was created, and over time, this too shall pass...but in the meantime, I'm pretty pissed and upset, and you know what, I'm ALLOWED to feel this way. Walk a mile - nay, 35 feet in my shoes, and then tell me how you feel...

*shiver*

Ok, now that I got THAT off my chest...
____________________________________________________________________

"Maybe in the meantime wait and see..."
- Spacehog, 1995


So, to say the least, this has been an unnerving week...

Because I cannot get too deep in detail, let's just say it ended better than it started...and if it hadn't, there would be a lot of questions left to answer that I think I wouldn't want to even be asked - or ask of myself.

Now, with firmer footing and something resembling a game-plan in place (until it falls apart) I feel a little more confident...taking a 'wait and see' kind of approach to my professional life, and to a smaller extent my personal life.

I am trying not to react as violently (emotionally) to all the negativity that permeates my psyche. After that, then I can work on keeping it out, but baby steps first...

I wanna go fishing...ugh... been taking way too long to get out on the water, and now summer is gone - but hey, at least its striper, blues, and blackfish season!!!

And again, it's fall - probably my favorite season...and good things are happening already - the Jets don't have a losing record, the Mets AGAIN were eliminated on the last day of the season (har har har!!) - but, no Yankees in the playoffs. *Sigh* I guess 13 years in a row was a good run...

"We love the all the all of you
Our lands are green and sky is blue
When all in all we're just like you
We love the all of you..."

Ok, so I am still not sure what any of that means, but I gotta keep in with my song theme and periodically drop in lyrics... So there they are...

Um...where was I...

Oh...I remember... So, I'm looking to see if I can go on vacation in November - head on down to Florida to blow off a LOT of steam. And I wanna go to Epcot- the International Food and Wine Festival is going on through Nov 9, and I wanna get there before it ends. The cool part about this festival is that they have bands that play as well - and they are the ABSOLUTE cheesiest bands on the planet - Big Bad Voodoo Daddy, David Cassidy, En Vogue, and of course, the mighty Night Ranger. Who DOESN'T wanna say they went to Epcot to go see Night Ranger. I am all aflutter at the thought...

In reality, though, I really do wanna make it to this festival - the best chefs are on display giving demonstrations, there is lots of food, wine, and beer from around the world, and I can go for free! (It's good to know people)

So, if you wanna go, lemme know...and if I like you enough, maybe we'll make plans...

"Well that sounds fine so I'll see ya sunshine
Give my love to the future of the humankind
OK, OK, that's not OK
and while it's on my mind there's a girl to fit the crime
of a future lovers dream that I've still to find
But In the Meantime..."

Yeah, what he said...

Anyways, this is not much of a blog - I think I write better when I am completely and utterly miserable, as opposed to now when I am only partially and moderately annoyed.

Yes, that was a joke...kinda...

I need a better song to write along with... OH SHIT!! Forgot I started this off with Godsmack!!!!

"Twistin' everything around that you say, yeah!
Smack me in my mouth 200 times every other day
Rag me, I don't hear you anymore, not yet
Find out what it means to me, I don't know who you are"

Dammit...I got nuttin'... Next time, I promise....

L8r...