Wild Wild Life...

"I know that's the way you like it, oh ho...
Livin' wild, wild life..." - Talking Heads, 1986

So, someone asked me if this blog entry was going to be 'juicy'.

The adjective 'juicy', is defined by the Merriam-Webster dictionary as:

• Main Entry: juicy
• Pronunciation: \ˈjü-sē\
• Function: adjective
• Inflected Form(s): juic·i·er; juic·i·est
• Date: 15th century

1 : having much juice

Really? "Having much juice"?!?!?!?! What kind of a friggin' definition is that????? Would the definition for 'funny' be "Having much fun"?!?! For fuck's sake...

Anyhow, I can make it juicy for a bit...so here goes...

"Sondra pulled her lover close to her - so close, the body heat was felt like the sun on a hot summer's day. Small beads of sweat formed between them...much like a cool drink left out in the same sun on that very same hot summer's day.

Sondra reaches down between the legs of the object of her affection. It is hot to the touch. A small groan is heard. Sondra giggles a little, leans in close, and whispers - quite softly - "Are you ticklish or in pain?"

"Both...but mainly I yearn for your mouth..."

"Well, what would you like me to do"? responds Sondra, coyly...

"Go down on me and eat my fish taco, BITCH" says Sarah Palin. "Make like my career and bury yourself there!"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ok, ok, ok...for those of you that are about to sue me or something...the preceding was a work of fiction. I wouldn't know if Sarah Palin like rug munching - or rug munchers. Maybe she does, but only if they don't get married.

Either way, I don't know and I made that up...

"Juicy" enough???? :-)


"Check out Mr. Businesman, oh ho... He Bought some Wild, Wild Life!"

Man, has work been off the hook recently. Preparing for our busy season - back to school is our Christmas...except we also get Christmas...so I guess it's not our Christmas - but it is...

Anyways, I have another 7 weeks of nuttiness that I most certainly hope will be more of a 'controlled chaos' than anything else. Back-to-School season lends itself to waves of people that don't wanna spend money. This usually leads to sometimes tense situations that I have to jump in and diffuse - which is fine, cause it's my job - but it's the amount of times that must be done that has to be limited. I pray to the retail gods "PLEASE GIVE MY CREWS THE KNOWLEDGE AND POWER TO GET THE JOB DONE!!!"

Hopefully the 'wild, wild life' won't manifest itself in the same way it did last year, which left me demoralized, depressed, and de-messed the fuck up...

What I AM looking forward to is the Yankees winning this damn game over the BoSox tonite - bottom of the 12th innning, 0-0 still...sigh... Damn pitching battle! Shit, now we are going to the 13th inning...
Dammit, Yanks!! (Damn yankees???) Win already!! I have to work in the morning!!!

"Sleeping on the interstate, oh oh ho... Gettin Wild, Wild Life
Checkin in'? Or checkin' out? oh oh ho...
I got a Wild, Wild, Life"

I'm also doing my hotel reservations... I actually used to like the 'getting away from home' part of my job a lot more. The drives upstate are killer and really wear on me...but a necessary evil. It is what it is...
Going to the bottom of the 13th inning now... *fingers crossed!!*

"NOW BATTING...NUMBER 2...DEREK...JETER...NUMBER 2"

Who is number 1?

YOU are number 6!!!

I am not a number - I'm a free man!!!

Ok, sorry - off on a tangent...not like that that is odd for me. So shut up... Anyone ever hear of "The Prisoner"? *sigh*

"Spendin' all of my money and time, oh oh ho...
Done too much Wild, Wild Life!"

But is it ever too much? I mean, really... Well, yeah I guess there can be too much. Then again, I never really got to the excessive parts of most things you can do in excess. By the same token, I have burned twice as bright in a lot of ways - and that just leads me to burn half as long. Did I mention I was tired?

My candle burns at both ends and in the middle which leads to 1) being tired a lot 2) resentment 3) lots of wax that I have to scrape off the furniture.

I'm trying to minimize this - realizing maybe too late in life that putting everything out there all the time isn't necessarily the best thing to do. People like a puzzle - they like a challenge. I tend to make things too easy for others and way harder on myself - what is wrong with me? This is a rut that I really need to dig out of. I can't keep going on this way because the flame will extinguish - or just run out of wax - and then I'll be up the creek without a paddle (can I fit more analogies in the blog? Damn...).
A-Rod at the plate - Texeira on 1st base...2 outs...
I feel like I have been doing better and have a clearer idea as to how to do this - only time will tell, really - and I will continue to try to improve. Haven't gambled for a bit, which is helping. Especially with paying bills. However, I am wondering when my next fuck up will come. Hopefully never - I don't need to self-destruct anymore. While I am good at it, this is a talent best left unused.
DAMMIT! A-Rod flies out to left field...going to the 14th inning... SO tired...

"Take a Picture, here in the daylight oh oh ho...
And it's some Wild, Wild Life"

I was at an art gallery last weekend - a friend of mine had some of his work displayed - and it was a good time. Felt good supporting friends, and being there with other friends, and seeing my false niece and nephew (they call me Uncle Mike...sweet).

Now if any of you saw my new facebook profile pic, you;d see that there was a piece at the gallery that was...well...it led the mind to wander...



Look, I know someone put blood, sweat, and tears into this, and this piece has a deep meaning moreso than just showcasing talent - but I'm sorry, my mind went right in the gutter...especially considering the fact that it was displayed oh so slightly above waist height. Use your imagination - I'm stopping the comment on this here...

"I know it, thats how it started oh oh ho...
Got some Wild, Wild Life"

I think I am going to make another beer butt chicken tomorrow for dinner (and anyone else that is hungry) and I STILL wanna go fishing sometime this summer. Again, a boat is going out of Captree at 11:00pm if anyone is interested...lemme know! Email me on facebook or at mikeagm@aol.com

Anyways, back to the chicken at hand.

I don't like chicken - not roaster style. I like chicken cutlets...that's about it... but I gotta say, I did the beer butt chicken thing, and it FUCKING ROCKS!!!! HOLY SHIT it was so 'juicy' - yes, having much juice, indeed - and just kinda came apart when you cut it. The flavor was amazing - and I must say my dry rub recipe kicks ass...

For the uninitiated, a 'beer butt chicken' is a chicken slow cooked on a grill with a beer can shoved in its ass. They have beer butt chicken stands, or you can take a chance balancing the anally-violated poultry on the grill with the beer can and the drumsticks... For the record, I vote for the stand - works great, and if you put it in a skillet, the drippings fall down and you can cook potatos in them - amazing!

BOTTOM OF THE 14th... GO GO GO!!! FUCK!!!!!! J.D. DREW!!!!!

I'll take a picture tomorrow. Yes, I am sure you are ALL on pins and needles to see a chicken anally raped with a beer can - but it looks so damn cute sitting there...

Just tastes too damn good...


"I know that's the way you like it, OH HO!!!
Livin' Wild, Wild, Wild, Wild...LIFE"


L8r Gatorz!!!!

Lyrics re-imagined without anyone's ok
from "Wild Wild Life" by the Talking Heads
off the 1986 release "True Stories"
Sire records

*NOTE* this song has one of THE MOST interesting bass lines ever written...not necessarily in the verses, but the bridge and chorus lines are fantastic and really define the song. Tina Weymouth was very underrated as a bassist...
Double Note - Again, I was joking with the Sarah Palin stuff... Just a joke - I can just see someone suing me or something about this... it was a work of fiction...false, not true, a fallacy, fallacius, faux, etc, etc...GOT IT?!?!?!